Zac watched Liz sleep and he sighed. He wasn't stupid and he knew she was probably thinking of his brother Taylor in her sleep. After all it was apparent to him that Taylor still had her heart and he always would. Even if he had left her. He had left her and hurt her and yet she still loved him so much.
Zac wasn't stupid either. He knew he was just a replacement until Taylor decided to come back to Oklahoma and back to Liz. What would he do then though? What would it feel like to be left for his own brother? He didn't want to find that out but sadly he knew he probably would find out what it felt like. He knew Liz would leave him.
Feeling Liz turn around in his arms he saw she was now awake. She looked just as beautiful as she did when she slept, "How did you sleep Liz?" he asked as his brown eyes looked into her blue eyes. He swore he could get lost in her blue eyes.
"Fine," Liz said as she looked back into Zac's eyes. "I had a dream about you," she said flatly. It was a lie though. It was Taylor she had dreamed about. It was always Taylor that she had dreams of even though he had hurt her when he left. Even though Zac had been and still was good to her it was Taylor she wanted.
"No you didn't," Zac shot his words sounding like he felt. Angry. "I could see it in your eyes," he muttered as he turned his back towards her. He was hurt that she had the audacity to lie to him like that. "It was Taylor you dreamed about," he said now looking at the blue wall. She had agreed to let him paint the walls when she had agreed to let him move in on his eighteenth birthday.
How could she even dream about Taylor? Zac didn't even know the answer to that. Taylor had been a man who left her because he felt he didn't belong in Oklahoma. A man who broke her heart into a million pieces. Pieces that Zac had tried to put back together but it seemed he had failed in some ways right now. Like he had failed in making her happy again.
"You know what Liz," Zac started talking again his back still to the woman who was beside him yet who felt like she was a million miles away from him, "I love you with all my heart," he said honestly as he chewed on his lip. He was going on nineteen and he knew some would say he was stupid for loving a woman with all his heart at such a young age but he did. "I'd give anything to have you feel the same, but I know you never will," he sighed sadly. He was sure if she could see his face she would see the pain that was now in his brown eyes. "I'll have to live with being the replacement until Taylor decides to come back to you," he said his words turning bitter at that part. "You can say I'm not his replacement but I know I am," he said finishing his words and closing his eyes. His heart was breaking at the last part.
Liz who listened to all of Zac's speech just laid in the bed in silence. She knew she was hurting Zac. She was hurting him by still having feelings for Taylor. Couldn't Zac see though that she too was hurting. Without Taylor in her life she had become nothing. Just a shell of who she had used to be.
Sitting up in the bed Liz could barely see Zac's back illuminated by the moonlight that came through their bedroom window. He was right though. About being Taylor's replacement. As soon as Taylor came back Liz knew she would run to him with open arms. She would take him back as if nothing had happened or no time had passed between them. It was Taylor she loved and it was Taylor she was destined to be with. She could feel it with all of her being.
Looking at Zac's back some more Liz laid back down and scooted closer to him. She was close enough to smell his scent. He had showered before bed and he still smelled of his shower gel. Some spice flavored shower gel. It was a different scent than what his brother used. Putting a hand on his back she let a smirk play on her lips. She knew what she was doing by now. She was used to doing this every time Zac voiced his opinions on how he felt when it came to Taylor. If this was a game she would have the top prize.
Feeling Liz move closer Zac bit his lip. He knew what she wanted. It was the same damn thing she wanted every time he told her how he felt about being Taylor's replacement. She wanted to make love to him. As if making love could make things right. Nothing could make things right or ease his broken heart. Sighing though Zac turned over and faced her. He knew it was going to be his downfall though.
When Zac turned to face her Liz smirked more and reached for his hand. They were calloused from his drum playing. She liked that he still played the drums even though the band had ended once Taylor had left Tulsa. Leaning in she kissed his soft lips slowly. She was making the first move like she always did. She was accustomed to it.
Within minutes of kissing Zac they were making love. As they did though Liz closed her eyes and a thought of Taylor came to her mind. It was the only way Liz could get off when making love to Zac. She had to think of Taylor. It was sick and twisted but she obviously didn't care. She was a flawed individual.
Seeing Liz closed her eyes, Zac frowned but continued to make love to her, his lips soon trailing to her neck as he let his body movements catch up with hers. He knew she was thinking of Taylor and it killed him. He half wished his brother would never come back. That he would stay gone.